I have been open to you about my own run in with the big C. Nothing is guaranteed in life, but I might have gotten lucky. Still, I can’t say I feel 100% safe. The monster is always lurking in the shadows and it is going to affect every third of us. Recently a buddy of mine got to hear some harsh news. I don’t know too much about his situation, but needless to say it was very difficult to accept for me. This latest turn of events raised some very strong emotions. I don’t know how to react. It all just feels so unfair and senseless.
The reality of our limited concious existence is cruel. The doctor told me once you hit 40 all bets are off and warrantees are no longer valid. I guess life really is a beach and then you die. These days by middle-age most people have just gotten their life together. You have spent your crazy years and finally gotten to a point where you accept the way things are. Living stagnant family life perfectly content as days pass by in mundane rituals. Kids are still young and you try to soak it all in. It is hard to understand how everything can turn upside with one call.
From my perspective the challenge is figuring out how to act. These days there is this narrative that you are supposed to fight cancer bravely without fear. I don’t want to force that burden on him. On the other hand I want to reach out, but I also understand he wants his privacy. I know it takes time to accept the way things are. I don’t want to be selfish and waste his possibly limited time on me. He has every right to enjoy the life like he sees fit and I’m really glad he understands there is very little more important than spending time with the immediate family.
In the end we are all going to leave some kind of a legacy. I’m bit of a hermit myself so I admire how he has acqumulated an extensive group of friends. The beautful thing is most of them have become my friends as well. Having that nice guy character is really something that is appreciated too seldomly. I’m not religious so I don’t have an explanation why things work out the way they do. Of course there is no better time to get healed than the present and who knows whose time is up next. Let’s just hope we have many years still in front of us.
Keep rocking J!
Cicli Ukrainello 